sup081122talk In any relationship, it is important to have a culture whereby you can have difficult conversations without fear of the relationship imploding. Photo / 123RF

OPINION

As Charlie Puth infers in his song We
Don’t Talk Anymore, communication breakdowns can be a killer for a relationship – whether it’s romantic or one of employment.

Too often managers and their staff drift apart, communication deteriorates and the difficult conversations that are an inherent part of a healthy employment relationship become problematic. It’s been said before – but we need to talk – and listen – more.

The need to better communicate is even more important as we continue to embed remote and hybrid working arrangements.

Having the hard discussion

In any relationship, it is important to have a culture whereby you can have difficult conversations without fear of the relationship imploding. In the workplace, avoiding these conversations is anti-productive and, in the long term, devalues the relationship and often starves the employee of vital feedback and learning opportunities.

The first thing I suggest is changing your mindset: regard difficult discussions as an opportunity to improve an individual, a cohort of workers or the organisation as a whole.

Viewing these conversations in a positive light – as a way to add value to the employment relationship, is transformative. These “difficult conversations” build an open and transparent relationship, can help businesses bring uncomfortable issues into the open and in turn can start to address critical matters like workplace diversity and pay inequality.

My number one rule for having difficult conversations is to identify the issue and be firm on that, rather than on the person.

Having a discussion about the issue rather than the person creates a degree of separation and enables the other party to see a different perspective and feel less personally threatened.

They become more involved in solving the problem and less defensive about their behaviour or conduct.

The employee is far more likely to retain some perspective and not allow the difficult conversation to colour the rest of their employment experience, when the situation is approached in this way.

Difficult conversations can be formal or informal but regardless you should schedule an appropriate time and avoid surprising the staff member with a conversation that might have a negative outcome.

You need to carefully listen to the employee and potentially take note of what is being said. Try and develop some goals or next steps in respect of the issue you are discussing and follow any agreed action points up with the employee.

Talking about performance

“Workplace performance” often crops up on the list of hard to difficult topics to talk about. Too often, performance is addressed with robotic references to KPIs or other output measures.

You know the scene: at monthly review time, the manager pulls up a spreadsheet or a printout of the staff member’s output for the previous 30 days.

The employee is either above or below the expected line on the graph. But a reference to underachievement in this way doesn’t create a personal interest in changing behaviour – and any change that does take place is short-lived.

A better way of driving an uplift in performance is by holding an in-depth, and ongoing, conversation about motivators and key drivers for an individual’s success.

While what I am advocating for is more work than a monthly comparison of data, it creates engagement and a sustainable increase in staff performance. Importantly, it provides the employee with a better understanding of their purpose, and how their personal motivations can be linked into the work that they do.

Seeking an understanding of your employee’s personal situation, opinions, expectations and plans for their success lays the foundation for creating aspirational goals that are not measured by KPIs or other unrelatable targets.

Having a deeper conversation about why the staff member wants to achieve at work, and helping them understand their part in the bigger picture, will engage them in playing a part in the overall success of the organisation.

This is a very short explanation of a relatively complex process – but the most important takeaway is to simply create the space where your staff can talk with you about the things that are important to them.

Regardless of the kind of “difficult conversation” you are having, this is valuable time. Don’t put a limit on it. Empowering your staff by listening and then acting will enhance the employment relationship and be beneficial for both parties.

David Grindle is the director in charge of the employment law team at WRMK Lawyers. He has practised in this area of the law for 17 years.