“What we found is a lot of people see it as him being stubborn or misbehaving,” Tapp said.

There was very little understanding from his school around how neurodivergent or autistic children can struggle with communication, she said.

It often resulted in Phoenix ending up in fights with other students.

His previous school declined to allocate a teacher aide for him because they classed his need as behavioural.

The Tapp family then had to approach a psychiatrist through Te Whatu Ora to prove otherwise.

Cognitive tests found he was in the lowest two percentiles for reading, writing, maths and social skills but in the top 98% for vocabulary and understanding.

“He was having troubles [learning in class] and when he asked for things to be clarified, he was told they only have five minutes per child.

“We just said that’s it then, we’re pulling him out of school. The class sizes are just too big, the time is spread too thin, and you just can’t get teacher aides anymore.”

Tapp decided to move her son to a smaller school. It ended up being the best decision for him – in the past year, Phoenix has learned to both read and write.

He is also able to bring items to school that help him concentrate, unlike at his previous school.

“Things like fidget toys or a jelly cube in his pocket, for him to have those things enables him to listen more.”

Tapp said such items help to achieve the input versus output balance neurodivergent people often struggle with.

To make room for more information, neurodivergent people have to create output through stimming, rocking or humming.

Phoenix is still not thriving as much as Tapp would like because he feels left behind in class.

“He’s reading at a level of 5-6 years old but he taught himself how to play the piano. What do you do with a kid who can’t sit still, remember, or do maths but can play a bit of music or a piano?”

A teacher aide would go a long way to help his learning – but Tapp said the new school has also been unable to provide one.

“We were hoping we could find someone who could perhaps at lunchtime just keep an eye on him to make sure that he is either not being picked on or picking on others, because as much as he is bullied, he is the bully sometimes.

“Some of that assistance – we can’t seem to be able to get now. It’s just a sign of the times.”

Tapp said they have considered homeschooling or Te Kura because although the school has been supportive – he feels “so different”.

Despite a love of his school and friends, he continues to struggle.

“What can we expect from our teachers in schools? They are so stretched. We felt our son was going to get lost.

“We don’t want our child to take time away from other children, and I also don’t want to ask for special treatment.”

Tapp is not new to navigating the complex system. With two grown-up neurodivergent children, she’s observed a big change.

“Ten years ago when my other kids were diagnosed, it was ‘hey, would you like this service? You can get this too, here’s some funding’, now you probably won’t even get a teacher aide.

“There’s just nothing.”

Tapp’s concerns follow a recent plea from Northland educators, who were disappointed to see no money allocated in this year’s Budget to fund more learning support.

Principals described feeling deflated and concerned for the future of high-needs students and said a lack of teacher aides was placing pressure on schools.

Education Minister Erica Stanford says she is currently developing a more efficient learning support programme but has not revealed further funding.

Brodie Stone is an education and general news reporter at the Advocate. Brodie has spent most of her life in Whangārei and is passionate about delving into issues that matter to Northlanders and beyond.